Sunday, August 17, 2008
All of a sudden .. :(
★Saturday, August 16, 2008
I got a 47/50 score in Filipino. At long last, the test was pursued. Honestly, I just reviewed in my way to school. Sa jeep. :p Wow. Ma'am Alimuin didn't showed up again. So we spent our time at the food court. Cerealicious.. Ice cream.. eat.. eat.. Then we saw.. Sir Horrace and his.. uhm. NVM. :P
Computer -- Saturday is Lecture day. Quiz. Err. Very tricky. :\ Low score. :D
JP's -- I need to give him my outline in History report 'cause he volunteered to type it for me, 'cause it's looong. And I have many things in lined to do. :| Thanks, Mahal! :) I got irritated again, why do he skips YA Services eh puede naman siya? I don't want to force him to come with me 'cause I know it would be nonsense if he would go but napilitan lang. -_- I'll just pray for him. That may God enlighten him. Promise, lumalayo na siya. And he's becoming unease when I talk about God. :( I know him, if he's aware that he is guilty of something, he prefers not to talk about it, that's why. Anyway, YA! Yeeey! :D
The line up of this day's Praise and Worship songs was so great that everyone felt the presence of the Lord! Some of it are..
Majesty by Planetshakers
Reflector by Planetshakers
Fall on Us by Hillsong
Always by Hillsong
To the Ends of the Earth by Hillsong and
Romans 16:19 by Chris Tomlin
And as I worship.. tears ran down my face.. God has implanted me thought of encouragement saying that I just need to sacrifice and surrender something. Yes, indeed I thought about him. And from that moment, I already decided to do IT. :)
Pastor Marvin's preaching was so cool. He has props this time. Ahahaha! Styro, containing the different 'missiles of life' [It is a missile-shaped figure with written sins on it.]
Jesus is in the Temple
`Matthew 21:12-17
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?"
`1 Corinthians 6:19
Your body and life must be a..
1. HOUSE OF PURITY [v.12]
In order to be pure you must get rid of..
★Missile of ARROGANCE
★Missile of JEALOUSY
★Missile of BITTERNESS
★Missile of PRIDE
★Missile of HATRED
★Missile of VIOLENCE
★Missile of IDOLATRY
★Missile of LUST
★Missile of ADDICTION
[And as Tatay Marvs explain these missiles one by one, every after the explanation, he would crush and destroy the Styro containing the sin.. Yea, and most of the young people there realized something including me. Yes indeed, I again thought of him. To be honest, he's life is still occupied by ALL (take note, that was an 'ALL' word) of these 'missles in life'. God knows about it, surely.]
2. House of Prayer
--The prayer of the righteous, availeth much.
3. House of Power
4. House of Perfected Praise
I totally surrendered everything to God on that moment, I really decided to give up on him. Wala na sigurong mangyayari hanggat mananatiling matigas ulo niya. That's what inside my head all those times. Yes. Super happy! Laugh trip. We went to PotPot. Nakanang. I missed bonding with them. Hmpf. Wiess didn't come with us. She's with the HCAians. ;P So ahahaha, we talked about random church stuffs, we call it
Kuya Bob: O so Jeah, musta naman kayo ni JP? Kayo parin ba? *laughs*
Jeah: Hala. Hindi naman naging kami alam niyo yan.. Hahah!
Kuya Bob: Di naging kayo? Gusto mo ba ipaabot ko 'to kay JP, at sabihin kong dinedeny mo siya? Hahahahha. Kayo parin ba? *Kuya Bob winks, while telling me to say Yes. I know what he's up to. Haha kulet!*
Jeah: Kami? Oo. *Just doing what Kuya Bob told me. :))*
Kuya Bob: Aww. Nakita ko si Jed, napamura! Hahahah! Nakita ko siya nalungkot.
Jed: Hala.. Nananahimik ako dito kuya Bob! Hahahah. Kulit niyo ahh.
Kuya Bob: Nakita kita e. Narinig ko pa, nagmura ka. Hahhaha!
*Everybody was laughing na. Super*
Kuya Bob: Osige tanungin natin ulit si Jeah. *looks at me* Kayo parin ba ni JP? *Telling me to say no, winking*
Jeah: Hindi. Kelan ba naging kami. *Just doing what he told me*
Kuya Bob: Kita mo na yan! Jed! Ang laki ng ngiti mo! Hahahahah! Kanina nung sinabi ni Jeah na sila pa, nalungkot ka. Teary eyed ka na eh =))))
Bla. Bla. We really had fun. Lagi naman e. Super lalakas kasi ng trip namin 'pag agkakasama kami.. Haha. I told Jed about my upcoming decision and my plan to talk to JP about it. Went home. Tireeeeed. :|
★Sunday, August 17, 2008
Sunday. Great day, as usual. Corban. Hahahaha, I was late and when I arrived at the practice area, [The leaders gave us the parking area. Hahaha! Cool place, though so much exposed.] I really said "Wow, may guests break dancers ang Corban!" And then as I went closer, WOAH! It was just Kuya Rj and Jazrel. Super gagaling na nila mag break dance. And actually I was reminded that on this. That this year we'll focus more on stunts and break dancing. Yes *Excited* Na-astigan talaga ako. Akala ko sila lang makakagawa nun, kaya ko din pala. Since I was late I didn't had the chance to do warm-ups. Diretso breaking kaagad. Haha, blame me, blame me. Our conditioning routines includes the comboS:
1. Six-Steps to Crazy Legs to Alba to Forward Roll to Get-up. Hahaha I was kidding Kuya Renz, "Papatayin mo na ata kami e, Kuya! Haha. Ano ulit? Six-Steps to Crazy Legs to Alba to Forward Roll to Get-up to DIE? Hahahah, joke!" Buti di siya napikon. :P
2. Hand-Stand Clip
3. Hand stand Freeze to Nike Air Freeze
4. Cartwheel
5. Hydrolics [I really don't know the spelling.] He just tried to teach it to us. But it was too difficult 'cause you have to master how to really balance yourself while hand standing. Amp. :))
After those head turning conditionings, Kuya taught us a new choreo with the song of "Raindrops" by I-don't-know-who-sang-it. But it was just instrumental, e lalakas trip namin, we put Tagalog lyrics to it from the song "Ikaw ang Tunay na Diyos" [Ikaw ang tunay na Diyos, Ika'y walang katulad, Ika'y nag-iisa, Ikaw lamang wala ng iba. Sa'yo ang aming awit, Sa'yo ang aming tinig.. Isisigaw sa buong mundo.. Kadakilaan mo.] Astig kasi sakto talaga sa tono. :)) The choreography was hard-difficult-semi-easy-I-don't-know-'cause-I-slightly-had-a-hard-time-catching-up-with-the-timing. Ahahaha! :P Ang bilis naman kasi. But I have to admit, I liked the steps. ^^
Service. Astig! Yesterday's Pastor Marvin's preaching was a bit connected to Ptr. Dave's preaching today. "The Greatest and Most Powerful Movement in Earth"
I. The Church is a Family
Family's top priority: To build relationships.
II. The Church is a Fellowship
Fellowship -- "Two fellows on the same ship". We're headed in the same direction.
Top priority for fellowships is Harmony.
Choose your Friends! For you must all have a common denomination: Love for Christ.
III. The Church is a Body
Ephesians 4:6.
"We are a body, not merely a business. An organism, not merely an organization."
Talents and gifts are needed by the body for it to function properly.
Top Priority: UNITY IN DIVERSITY!
God loves diversity. [It means differences] We are different in many ways yet we have the same Lord.
IV. The Church is a Temple
Ephesians 2:21
We are God's Temple!
Top Priority: Worship and Praise
V. The Church is a Powerful Army
"Gates of hell shall not prevail against it.."
The priority here is winning souls and territories for His Kingdom.
I still prayed for my decision. But my feet, I cannot stop. Good thing we don't have our meeting, only the working committees. [That's why I know it was God's plan.] I went to JP's not only to get my flash drive and the typing job he did for me. But to talk to him seriously. Grabe talaga ang plano ni Lord, saktong pag apak ko sa gate ng compound nila, lumabas siya sa bahay nila JohnJohn. Then he saw me. He is happy. One thing that hindered me? His smile. He's enthusiasm to see me. He even told me "Kanina pa po kita hinihintay.." Waaa. I can't smile. We sat--TALK. I started the topic. I said "I don't know the right words; I don't know how to start.", he just told me to continue. With the fact that I must do it, I continued to talk and tell him things that I should have done before--then CRIED. I noticed him, crying. At first he got mad. "Ikaw lang ang babaeng sobrang minahal ko pero iiwan din pala ako... Alam mo ba kung bakit ako ang nanloloko ng babae? Kasi ayaw ko na ako iiwan. Di ko kaya. Wala pang gumagwa sa'kin nun! Tapos ikaw? Ikaw???" I just told him what I have to say. Even though I'm crying too hard and can't take the moment of leaving him, I still did. Moments of silence, when I need to rest my breathing. Then he suddenly spoke. "Mamimiss kita........." I explained to him that it doesn't mean we have to end everything. We just need to stop first and realize that "Hindi kami" with the fact that we're both sinking with God. And I hate the feeling of being blessed though I know I don't deserve it 'cause I'm hurting my Lord. :| But I know he can't do it. That's why I was really crying. He once told me before that he cannot live without seeing his "Girl" But I have to limit myself. I'm not his "girl" but I want to.. :( He sang "Grow Old With You" while crying.
"Ang sarap mo mahalin.."
At least I heard those words, haha! OK. I'm sorry for this very serious post. But It's really hard to do this. It takes COURAGE to leave the person you loved the most, considering the fact that YOU STILL LOVE HIM. It takes courage, and most of all, it takes TRUE LOVE.
I know God already forgave me and I want to be 'deserving' for every blessings. And I want to serve Him whole heartedly. I know. I know, there will come a time that JP will understand all of these. I didn't lose hope. I will never lose faith. I know God has plans, and He has my every trust. I can't stop crying. Haha. Unease. I don't want to let go of him because [I know lots of people know this] I know God will change him through me. Still, I'm contented of what I've done. :]
It's 11:33 PM and I'm still free to live for God
Forgiven and Free
Jeah || Jahaziel Ann
1991, 16th of October
A man trapped in a woman's body. Caffeine addict. Full time Student. Full time Minister.
FEUTamaraw Freshman. AB Mass Communication
An Athlete of God.
iDance. iPerform. iMinister. iServe. iShare. iLove. iLive.
This blog is made to advocate that having an intimate Relationship with Jesus Christ is never dull. Never a bore. But indeed it is full of adventures and fun-filled experiences! This blog is All for HIM, who deserves me and you! I believe He deserves EVERYTHING.
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